I may be a little late for this, but after seeing the new Pete’s Dragon trailer the other day, I thought this would be a fun article to write up. Zoolander 2 has already become another in a long line of overdue sequels that should have never happened and will lose an insane amount of money. The idea here is to talk about upcoming movies for 2016 and why they will not be the financial success’ the studios are hoping for. Here we go:
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (March 25th)
This will continue the trend in the last few years of sequels years after the original that no asked for. Yes the first one was entertaining, but what we will most likely see here is more of the same. Dumb and Dumber Too just used the same jokes and added nothing new to the franchise. Most likely this will be the case here. The first one was surprise critical and financial success. Expect this one to be the opposite.
Mother’s Day (April 29th)
Hollywood has tried this twice. First with Valentine’s Day, with some success there and then there was New Year’s Eve, which was a complete flop. Each had supposed star power as this one is looks like it is trying to use to its “advantage” as well. Can’t remember the last hit Julia Roberts was in or Aniston that didn’t involve an ensemble cast. This one will go nowhere what with The Jungle Book and The Huntsman: Winter War most likely dominating box office at Mother’s Day’s release.
Angry Birds (May 20th)
Angry Birds really only has one thing going for it and that’s the great voice cast. Other than that, it seems years way too late. Releasing with a Neighbors sequel and a possible sleeper hit for Shane Black’s The Nice Guys, will offer the family option for that week, but then it will come up against the latest X-Men film that will keep it away and Captain America: Civil War dominating the entire month. This film will need to have a large appeal to both children and the adults that will have to take them to make a profit from a reportedly $80 million budget not including any real marketing yet.
Alice Through the Looking Glass (May 27th)
I was completely shocked at the success of Alice in Wonderland. Going up against the latest X-Men movie doesn’t help its predecessor. Once again the film looks dull, confusing and too much potential to cause blindness from the over-saturated color scheme. Lightning will not be caught in a bottle this time around.
Finding Dory (June 17th)
This one I will most likely be very wrong about, but let me try to make my case. Making a funny supporting character the main focus just doesn’t seem right. While I like Dory as a character, I think an entire movie where she is the focus would be annoying. Will audiences feel the same way? It will no doubt be number one it’s opening weekend, but with the sequel to Independence Day the following week, I’m doubtful it will be the hit Disney is hoping for. While it will be marginally successful, it will not be the cash windfall people might think. Can’t imagine what would happen if it was critically so so.
The Legend of Tarzan (July 1st)
I had no idea this film was even in production or have the caliber of cast it has and I’m a guy that prides himself on knowing what’s coming up on the ole movie schedule. That being said, who else had the same reaction of “huh?”? The trailer makes the film look decent, but I could not help but feel like this will be the John Carter of 2016. Granted this one doesn’t look like it will have the hype or marketing saturation that Carter had, it was the gut reaction I had when the trailer ended. Not just that, but who was clamoring for a new Tarzan movie? That’s right, no one.
Ghostbusters (July 15th)
No, it’s not because of the politically correct cast of chicks. It’s because no one wanted it, Paul Feig can’t depend on gross out and shock humor, and Melissa McCarthy is also handicapped. This will be the first movie in a long time, outside the awesome St. Vincent, that didn’t rely on her brilliantly cussing up a storm. Having two relatively unknowns (don’t care to look up their names) with McCarthy and Kristen Wiig may not work out so well. Add to that one of the main reasons behind it being, “we need a woman centric action comedy and will do it by using an established brand.” Who knows this could shock me, like the supposedly feminist comedy Bridesmaids did (she ends up baking for the love interest and graveling to get him back by the end of the movie. Girl power!). Add to this that I want this to fail. Ghostbuster’s and even Ghostbuster’s 2 are very special to me and should have ended with the second one.
Next week I will have Part 2.